The 17th of May 1922xx
Entry # 2563
Dear Captain's Log,
It is I, Captain James A. Hook, naturally, writing in the week's activities again. I shall start by saying:
I hate this place. I hate every single thing about it. I hate the birds that sing in the morning, i hate that cute fish, dolphin as Smee calls it. I hate it. I hate the stupid fairies that fly around the place. I would confess my disbelief in them but I have three of them lighting up my personal cabin and I wouldn't want to risk killing one of them. A captain needs his mood lighting no?
I think it's rather and understatement if i were to say, at this point, that i still loath that Peter pan. Hate him. I would gladly cut off my other hand and, once again I must add , feed it to that reptile having to write this entry with nothing but my tongue and willpower just to see Peter Pan bleed. Have I mentioned my newest plan? It's a work of art actually. Such brilliance that only the great Captain of the Jolly Roger can conjure up.
I will, at the crack of dawn this Wednesday, (I pick Wednesday because my pirates can't pronounce "wednes" as such giving the day a much more sinister tone than other days) send forth four of my pirates to that lagoon with the fish-girls. I will then attempt to use those pea-brains to capture the fish-girls and use that as bait to lure Peter pan, who I have come to realize, has a pathological Hero Complex. The boy just HAS to rescue everything i say! Even one of my Pirates yelped that blasted boy's name last week when he scared himself looking at his reflection on the sea bed. Thank the stars I was there to immediately put him out of his misery, permanently, so that his vocal blasphemy doesn't spread.
In any case! back to the plan. Yes Fish-girl as bait. Peter Pan will hear the girl's cries of fear and come prancing on the clouds to save her. He will however NOT anticipate a three hundred pound canon ball primed at him from, wait for it, the beach! Stroke of genius! Peter Pan always anticipates cannon fire from the Roger but he WILL not be aware of my villainous genius. I am at this moment laughing my coat off thinking of my utter genius. Peter Pan will be hit from behind! He will reel from the shock and suffer the wrath of Captain James A. Hook once and for all! I shall call this plan: Project Fish-girl-cannon-ball.
In other news:
There has been a sever shortage of bread and soap on board the ship. The bread i can understand but the missing soap baffles me. Nobody here uses soap as such why is there soap in the ship anyways? Even still if the soap is missing then who is taking it? and as such the final question would be that if no one is using the soap then why would said person be stealing it? This is rather disturbing.
I will now end this log.
Captain James A. Hook.
The one true Captain of the Jolly Roger .
Hero in his own right.
